|Photo credit: Favim.com|
Problem is I just can't get over it. My life has changed since she left. i mean, this is someone i was so fund of, i told her stories, she told me too many stories and we watched so many movies together (she was a real movie freak). Best it each time she always told me to pursue my passion in sewing/drawing.
Whenever she was around and I am just sewing away, she would come around and watch me; giving me tales of her childhood.
I loved that woman!
I still remember when i had been drafting the pattern and cutting the pieces of my 'STATEMENT DRESS' she had just sat there and watched asking if i had cut it well and why I had to pair it with red...The day i wore it, she had told me how pretty I had looked in the dress. I still remember her staring vividly at a picture I took in the dress...She'd stared and stared adjusting her thick frame of glasses under the lamp light, gushing about how she couldn't get over the way I did justice to the dress in my novice skills. she had requested for a dress herself but unfortunately never had the chance to wear it.
i miss that woman, most times i get so close to tears each time I think of her but i don't because i really have to let her go. her death put me through a lot and I have not gotten over her or the turmoil it put me through. it hurts to even know she is gone... she was so alive, so there, so not looking like a candidate for death. it has not been easy, i swear.
i could be seen laughing, chattering away like i have got life at the tips of my fingers but i am wounded, too affected.
Her death has made me scared to live my own life and so scared of the lives of people i care about. yea, i am getting better, i can fall asleep now without having to see her or think about her but it still has not changed the fact that the shock i got from her death makes me sacred to live, it makes me view life as empty,. Does this happen to others? or I'm i just being too dramatic? but i am too affected i want to move on, i don't want to think of her death when i am cruising high up in the sky having in the back of my mine that if she could die... the lane i am in could drop and i would too.
I MISS HER SOOO MUUCH!!! I just recently dedicated my research work/thesis to her and it took me back to how much she wanted to help me, she gave me hers told me to look at it, advised me and told me i would be so proud of myself.
someone said if heaven had opening/visiting hours she would visit her sister. And i wish so too, just to know if she is fine and to tell her i miss hr too much.
well i pray God gives me the grace to get use to the fact that she is gone for eternity and that i am fine and that i wont lose my life and those around me
I LOVE YOU AUNTY KATE- RIP